Why Won-t You Apologize By Harriet Lerner Epub Pdf ((link)) -

If you are the one who caused the harm, you must listen to the other person's pain without getting defensive or offering explanations. Avoid "Why" Questions:

: Adding a "but" to an apology ("I'm sorry, but you started it") effectively cancels out the original sentiment and shifts the blame back to the victim. Why Won-t You Apologize by Harriet Lerner EPUB PDF

People who cause the most harm often have low self-esteem or a fragile sense of self-worth. They cannot apologize because doing so would cause them to experience overwhelming shame. Blame Shifting: If you are the one who caused the

As Lerner points out in the text, this is not an apology. It is an indictment of the victim’s sensitivity. The word "if" suggests the hurt might not be real. The focus is shifted from the offender’s action to the victim’s reaction. They cannot apologize because doing so would cause