So today, we aren't doing anything grand. We’re drinking tea in silence. And for the first time in a month, I actually feel the love—instead of just the effort.
During the first week, I focused on physical comforts. I sent surprise packages of her favorite tea, booked a house cleaning service to take the load off her shoulders, and took her to the botanical gardens. She was grateful, certainly, but there was still a polite distance between us. I was performing the role of the "good daughter," and she was playing the "appreciative mother." It felt like a transaction of kindness rather than a connection of souls. After a month of showering my mother with love ...
She hung the letter on her refrigerator, right next to a coupon for cat food and an old photo of me in a Halloween costume. So today, we aren't doing anything grand
As the month came to a close, I felt a sense of sadness wash over me. I didn't want this experience to end, and I knew that I didn't have to. I realized that I could continue to shower my mother with love and affection, not just for a month, but for the rest of my life. During the first week, I focused on physical comforts
So if you take nothing else from this, take this: Go sit with your mother. Not to fix her. Not to thank her. Just to sit.